Why I Need Younger Women in My Life

I need younger women! And not just so they can babysit my kids. Younger women have fresh insight and perspective that I lack. Lately, I’ve needed their perspective as I move into a new season of parenting, delving into conversations about sexuality and other hard questions about life. No, they don’t have the experiential wisdom that (hopefully) comes with many more years of knowing the Lord. But, the Lord also isn’t partial in the dispensing of His wisdom–He invites all of His children to ask for it (James 1:5). There are many times when younger believers have wisdom to offer older believers. They can help me gain insight into how to better relate to my kids. They can keep me relevant on cultural milieus that are important to be aware of, and they can help me get out of ruts (or blind spots) that come with age. Younger women are no less able than I am to know the Lord intimately and to point me to the Lord.

Before I move on, I do think it’s important to say that I’m thankful for the sages in my life that possess wisdom born of a long life in God. And I’m thankful for the numerous older women the Lord has given me over my 22 years of knowing Him. I have a rich heritage that I’m so thankful I can draw on regularly. I love Titus 2, and hope I always have multiple sage voices in my life.

But I want to be a woman who can receive from both older and younger women. I believe we need each other, and in ways we might not even think we do. And, I think Paul agrees with me (rather, maybe I agree with him!). He told Timothy not to let anyone despise him in his youth, but to set an example for the believers in his speech, conduct, and purity (1 Timothy 4:12). God’s desire is for us to both be willing vessels of His at any age, and willing to receive from any willing vessel, regardless of their age. There is a certain dignity we give to a person when we value who God is in their life and are willing to receive from them—in humility. 

So, how do I learn from younger women?

1. I invite younger women into my life. I have reciprocal relationships that are sometimes initiated by me, and sometimes a younger woman. And while I might be on more of the “giving” side, as I get to know younger women, they get to know me and my family. Opportunities for her to give, and for me to receive, naturally arise. Honestly, the younger woman often times doesn’t even realize that she’s giving to me until I point it out to her. I learn when I see her interact with my kids, when I hear her process her life, when she operates in her gifts and abilities, or when she asks me questions. Through her, the Holy Spirit brings conviction, offers encouragement to my heart, and teaches me.

2. There are areas of life I feel freedom to invite younger women to speak into. I have areas of lack, areas that younger women may be more knowledgeable and wiser in, so I ask their perspective, with specific questions. For example, I have children with different personalities and wirings than me, and outside input to help understand how they tick is helpful. More than one younger woman “gets” some of my children and has offered priceless insight as to how to better relate to my child. Or, there are some ways I’ve had to mature in adulthood that my younger friends had the opportunity to grow in while they were growing up. I’ve gleaned so much from their input and/or their example.

2. It feels a bit silly to say this (because all of my older friends laugh at me), but I’m getting older (I’m 37). I’m not as aware of what’s out there in the world as I was when I was in high school and college. I guess I’m sort of stuck in the 90’s. So much has changed, and if I’m not careful, I’ll miss being able to relate to the next generation if I’m not willing to learn from that generation. I’m not speaking of conforming to the world, or being culturally relevant, but of understanding the current milieu, so that the always relevant message of the Gospel can be applied.

          So, I try to understand what younger people are into, how they enjoy learning, what struggles they’re facing,      how they were parented, and the list goes on. I ask a lot of questions. I want to understand so I can offer Biblical         understanding. I become a student.

I love my younger friends, and am so thankful for their friendship. I don’t want to miss out on the gifts my Father has for me in them! And I bet there are younger women who would love friendship with you, too. So, reach out to those younger women in your church that seem too hip for you. You might be surprised by all they have to offer you!