3 Tips to Thrive in the First Trimester

Some people breeze through pregnancy, basking in that lovely “mommy glow,” delighting in a growing baby bump, and even enjoying the delight that comes with eating for two.

But not me.

The first trimester is one long slog that creeps into my second trimester, with this vicious cocktail of exhaustion and nausea—all the time. Whoever coined the phrase “morning sickness” gave moms everywhere a glimmer of hope, only to be dashed on the rocks of pregnancy sickness that can last all day.

Not only that, but I felt yucky about me. I wrestled with guilt over laying down, not spending extended times in my Bible and prayer, keeping meals super simple and asking Blane to help with them, not getting laundry done in a timely manner, not being on top of school. The list could go on.

Morning sickness was somewhat consuming, and I believe it caused me in some degree, to miss out on the wonder we have the invitation to behold in those early months. It was easy for my thoughts to drift to how bad I felt, how many more weeks I had, and what in the world could I eat? I did enjoy some of the wonder, but my heart and mind only had so much capacity, and when full of thoughts in one direction little space was left available for more.

It wasn’t until I was a few pregnancies in that I received encouragement from a friend to shift my way of thinking. Her heart toward me was gentle, with a longing for me to walk in peace and understanding of the Lord’s kindness toward me, and His delight in me–even in, especially in my weakest moments. So I slowly began reclaiming those months in my heart and mind in three specific ways that I’ll share about below. I’ve had the opportunity to practice a few times now, and if given the opportunity to practice again, I want to grow more.

1. Practice adoration.

The Lord is gentle, gracious, and kind. He is much gentler, much more gracious, and much kinder toward us than we are toward ourselves. He is completely aware (more than we are!) of the weak state we are in when our body is working so hard to grow a human life. And, He is delighted with any movement toward Him, even under-the-breath sentence prayers.

When I’m not pregnant, the key to my moving out of discouragement and condemnation is to practice adoration. Adoration is simply an intentional lift of my gaze from me and my circumstances to Him. It’s a declaration both to my heart and to Him about who He is. Each month, I print out Sara’s adoration printable, and I keep it tucked in my Bible. It’s a daily habit and delight of mine to practice reminding myself of His heart and character.

So while pregnant, I seek to be more intentional about adoration. I take  out my printable, look up the verse, and out loud speak His Word back to Him, and to my heart. When I struggle with unbelief in the verse, I tell Him I want to believe it, and ask Him to help me believe.

For example, a recent place of adoration was Malachi 3:16. The attribute of God to adore was, “The One who pays attention.” I read the verse aloud, and then told Him that I adored Him for paying attention to His people. I took time to be specific about ways He’s paid attention to me, to circumstances around me that I saw Him paying attention.

Adoration doesn’t need to be elaborate. And you can cling to the verse for the day, coming back to it when you feel your weakness–and even when you feel dull in heart. It’s beautiful to Him, and I believe He treasures it. If you can only manage a little in the days, weeks, or months of morning sickness, I would commend this practice.

And, while it may not feel like it’s doing anything, it’s accomplishing something deep and great in your heart—you’re storing up treasure and strengthening muscles that may feel puny—and it will yield fruit, probably at the least expected time.

2. Receive God’s grace toward you

Consider this: “For you formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb…My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth” (Psalm 139:13, 15).

Notice the action words in those verses! The Lord created a woman’s body with the awe-inspiring ability to knit together a baby. I’ve heard it said that in the first trimester, every day it’s like you’re running a marathon. Your body, in partnership with the Lord, is working extremely hard. It’s the reason for your exhaustion!

He knows this—and He knows it far better than we do. We are mostly unaware as to what is happening inside of us each day in those early months, but He knows. And I don’t believe He’s expecting you or me to function at the same physical, mental, and emotional capacity that we can when we’re not pregnant. Does He want our hearts? Absolutely. I think letting go of any expectation we might have for ourselves and leaning into this season of weakness–by leaning into Him–is one of the surest ways to keep a tender heart before the Lord during this time. And again, it doesn’t require hour long quiet times. It requires a quiet and gentle heart that’s yielded.

It helped me to compare pregnancy to fasting. When you’re fasting, sometimes you feel pretty yucky, and you feel pretty unspiritual. Going without food has a way of letting the stuff in our heart that we were unaware of spill out to where we painfully see it. But, it’s doing something. In those moments of voluntary weakness, as we deny our self and seek the Lord, He is doing deep work in our heart, though we often don’t see the fruit until later. Pregnancy is very similar. We can’t see what’s going on inside of us, but it’s tremendous, and it takes time until we see the fruit of our labor—but we do receive the fruit.

Allow yourself to receive His daily, moment-by-moment grace toward you.

3. Listen to worship music

There were some days when it felt like all I could do was lay on my bed. I wanted to feed my soul somehow, and reading felt too hard. Listening to the Bible is an excellent option, and I did that. But, music has a way of engaging our hearts in a unique way. So, I made a playlist of my favorite songs through which the Lord has encountered me over the years. I listened and agreed with the words in my heart and mind—often through tears. And I did encounter the Lord.

You’re doing an important work, Mama. The Lord sees you in your weakest moments, and is inviting You to lean into Him and to receive His power that enables you to walk out this season with joy. Not happy-clappy, but a deep, abiding joy that sustains. It will likely still involve tears over how gross food is, or how you feel bad that you’re not as consistent with your two year-old. In those moments—receive the invitation from Him to lay those things at His feet, and adore Him for His ability to fill in the nutritional and training gaps. And remember the miracle He’s forming inside of you!

And remind yourself that even though it doesn’t feel like it, this is a season, and it will pass.